Imposter Syndrome.
Another mind barnacle that we spend half our life trying to scrape off.
Imposter, meaning we’re pretending. Syndrome, meaning it’s a disease.
A pretending disease.
Not what any of us needs.
Instead of feeling accomplished and proud, we suffer from this pretending disease, feeling like we are not really worthy of our success or our accolades. Or that everyone else knows what they’re doing … but we don’t. Or that we’ll be exposed as charlatans.
But What If That's Okay?
Maybe that’s not a bad thing.
Maybe nobody really knows what they’re doing. Maybe we’re all just winging it.
And maybe it doesn’t matter.
How Did We Get Here?
The term Imposter Syndrome (originally called Imposter Phenomenon) didn’t exist until 1978 when two (women) psychologists coined the term for a study they were doing on high-achieving women.
1978.
High-achieving women unsure of themselves in 1978.
Duh. Of course they were.
They were high-achieving women in a society that devalued them. Of course they felt unsure. That would be a normal reaction.
To feel sure would have been abnormal in such a situation.
And — reminder! — we still live in a society that gives women a rash of garbage for existing, speaking up, wanting to control their own bodies, not smiling or just because it’s Tuesday. Imagine how bad it was in 1970-fucking-eight.
And So It Continues
Whether it’s 1978 or now, feeling unsure of our accomplishments (women or men) in this society seems like a normal reaction to me.
So maybe the problem isn’t with us … but with this society.
And maybe we should take this annoying Imposter Syndrome and stomp it into the ground. Instead of worrying about how we are reacting to a ridiculous state of affairs, let’s work on changing that ridiculous state of affairs.
So go out and achieve. You’re winging it. So am I. Nobody is going to say dammit or toss us out of adult life. (Like we even wanted to be here anyhow. The kids’ table is always the best place.)
We belong and none of us are going gentle into that good night.
What If Imposter Syndrome Is a Normal Reaction?
Great perspective! And when society sanctions this behavior on the intimate level of families and relationships it's a wonder we function at all. One of my favorite bumper stickers from the mid 70's was (and still is) "Uppity Women Unite!"
I just read an interesting article in The Smithsonian by Meilan Solly about Mary I ("Bloody Mary") and how she was tagged with that moniker. (No one calls her Father Henry VIII "Bloody Henry" and he sent far more people to death than she did).
"For all her faults...Mary—the first to prove women could rule England with the same authority as men" but it seems that society didn't like uppity women the, either.